Skip to main content

RUDIMENTS 1093.


RUDIMENTS, PT. 1,093
(high hopes for my ropes)
Sometimes - and note that I
say sometimes - in my drifting
and mindless ways, I just
wandered. Who was it,
Wordsworth or someone,
who wrote about wandering
'aimless as a cloud.' Well,
actually, it was 'lonely' as a
cloud, but I never liked that,
and only seldom did I ever
see an unattended, by itself,
cloud. So - Mr. Wordsworth
sir - I change it. My impetus
here was aimless, not lonely.
-
"I wandered lonely as a Cloud
that floats on high o'er vales
and hills, when all at once I
saw a crowd, a host of golden
daffodils; Beside the lake,
beneath the trees, fluttering
and dancing in the breeze..."
It goes on from there, but I did
always see it as really lacking.
What I mean by that is that,
for whatever its value as a
'Wordsworth' poem, it's more
truly just a pile of words. It's just
not the sort of writing one can do
today, representative, as it is, of
nothing at all; certainly not a
reflection of our world today;
which is what I think, that writing
should be about. That goes for all
sorts of writing, including the
drivel that nowadays gets the
Nobel Prize (for rock-lyric schlock
written in rhyming couplets). It
was never anything that could
move or motivate me, this sort
of Wordsworth drivel - some
guy shrouding over flowers and
claiming then to connect all that
with some higher repose. Maybe
back in 1810 all that stuff worked,
but I felt that there had to be a
real delineation point between
that then' and now. We live and
we see differently, and most of
that old tripe means little now.
'Continuous as the stars that shine
and twinkle on the Milky Way...'
None of that works today; it
doesn't add up - for, as I was
learning, we live in a world far
past anything Wordsworth could
have had in mind. Post-destitute
would better describe us. One
World War piled onto another,
and then endless skirmishes and
unending wars of a newer and
blind sort. Atomic and not.
Bombs being glorified. Death
in all the air. With meanings and
references dead. The very idea of
any privacy and meditative
peacefulness, unless for profit,
gone. The rights of man, Mr.
Paine? No more. It's a poor sight
and one far removed from the
essences and feelings of any
cosmic crap about life in the
stars and flowers. He speaks
of those stars in a way we no
longer even understand, with the
companion allusion, conjoined,
of flowers and stars : "Ten
thousand I saw at a glance,
tossing their heads in a sprightly
dance." Above my head, if there
are 12 stars I'm lucky, and any
field of daffodils is most likely
to be paved tomorrow for relief
housing with some long political
litany of bullshit attached to it;
many words, saying nothing at
all. Like mine? Or surely like
Wordsworth's. I may yet turn
out to be Holden Caulfield's
wily brother under a skein of
twinkling stars?
-
That was 1802, April 2nd, to
be exact. Much as I always did,
he and his sister were walking,
and they passed a vibrant field
of daffodils. I don't think we still
allow vibrant fields of daffodils.
They're probably outlawed
somewhere. It's a hard plow
to shoulder, all this. Can you
imagine a member of today's
world now going on in such
a manner? I cannot, and
would not. It seems as if I,
and the rest of the current
day's inhabitants, have
erected a firewall against
all that - a firewall manned
now by irony, angst, anger,
and provocation. Wit, and
double-meaning. In fact, what
I would call 'Depth.' I find little
of 'depth, in any of this old
Wordsworthian work. Sorry.
-
What's even cooler - here's
how he ended the poem, in his
fine, old, pre-20th century,
non-media world. Try and
imagine this today: "For oft
then on my couch I lie in vacant
or in pensive mood, They flash
upon that inward eye which is
the bliss of solitude, and then
my heart with pleasure fills,
and dances with the Daffodils."
Even the cadence and the words'
rhythms now evoke nothing. What's
even weirder? If that's 'Inspiration,'
even Inspiration doesn't look like
that any longer.
-
In the west 50's of NYC, at a
place called DeWitt Clinton
Park, there's a monument to
the WWI soldier, nameless but
representative, and at the base
is a poem, of fame and note,
about that war and its dead and
lost, called 'In Flanders Fields.'
I used to go there and visit that
often too (the statue, not the
field) - it's still there, as is
the park. In its own, later than
Wordsworth's, reverential and
old-timey plodding way, it too
caresses and holds tight an idea
and an image we wouldn't have the
patience for today, in language
and words we'd no longer use
or hold to. Everything is, by
today's parlance, garbled and
sped up now. We are ruled more
by the drum of staccato, and the
rat-tat-tat of stark language. It's
ruinous, yes, but that's the way
it is. It makes it very difficult,
as well, to 'be' a writer today,
one NOT in that minestrone
blend of noise and harsh words
which is so prevalent now. I had to
fight all that in my own reveries.
I don't think Wordsworth ever
faced that, in his slower and
starrier world, a world full
of fields and flowers.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

RUDIMENTS 1055.

RUDIMENTS, pt. 1,055 (a fugitive from loss) In brief, I'm long-winded. I wonder how that sounds here in the middle of all this. Sounds is probably not the right word. Reads. - When I was a kid, out behind my house, across the tracks and next to the prison farm, there was, and still is, a company named Philadelphia, Quartz, which currently calls itself PQ Corp. Kind of silly, as it now sounds like the mother ship for Dairy Queen. Nor did it have anything to do with Philadelphia, that we ever knew. Years later, I had a very annoying teacher, whose father, I learned, worked there. That was perhaps the only living human I ever knew of at of that place - never saw a day's worth of activity. - Anyway, if we crossed the tracks, at that sort of blind-crossing right there - limited sightline for anything oncoming - we'd be at a small wooded area at the Quartz place fencing. Most of the time, because that crossing there was blind, we'd cr...

RUDIMENTS 1001.

RUDIMENTS, pt. 1,001 ('deliver us from evil?') Is this the time we should thank local officials, while they try to keep everyone apart, for building cheek- by-jowl, low-class housing projects? Is the time ripe now for us to thank them for investing so much debt and money into new schools and 'physical' plants for non-learning except as baby-sitting, and enforced social conditioning, and then having them all closed up? Had we a more normal, strong and individualistic system of home learning in place, with half-intelligent parents and non-distracted, not sugared-up kids, railing at walls and windows while clutching their electronic distractions and TV minefields, there would be stronger people growing to maturity, rather than the maniacs and shoppers we have now, brawling and screaming for their paper-products, candies and jellies, and restaurant poisons. Yes, let's give them all a real hoo-hah. - I wond...

RUDIMENTS 239.

RUDIMENTS, pt. 239 Making Cars How many layers deep is a normal life? I often wondered about that too. I couldn't use myself as a guide, I figured, because I never felt myself normal. First off, and technically, I'd been deemed dead and came back, when hit by that train. So I had a bias towards the other-side, having had a glimpse (It's really nothing more than roomfuls of different-aged people doing endless crossword  puzzles from these enormous books  and each puzzle being done is made up of clues from that individual's  own life, and some of the answers are apparent while others aren't. There are some really startled expressions going on when these spirit/people, as in a big, boring library, find some shock or surprise over what a clue is getting at for an answer. It was pretty cool. The other thing that was weird was, in all these rooms, there  were no rest-rooms and no sort of dining areas or foods available....