RUDIMENTS, pt. 823 (from zero to sixty in four seconds flat) The subject was telephones; frightening things even in 1967. The household wire phone was a bad blemish, yet nearly every house had one or more, and those that didn't, wanted to. People had 'gossip-benches' in their homes. Sort of a portmanteau seat (my father reupholstered any number of them; I've seen, and lugged, my share), but to the right or the left was a sort of desk-compartment shelf thing, for the telephone, as a table-top, and for storage too. Phone books, etc. I detested phones, from day one, and could never abide them and to this day, unless for emergencies and the like, I simply do not use one; do not have one; will not report to one. Besides that, I have nothing to say. Back to the Gossip Bench - we had one in my home when I was a kid, covered in some horrid green fabric, almost plastic-like, but not. It was, honestly, seldom used...