RUDIMENTS

RUDIMENTS, pt. 572 (no bones about it) Just like now, I used to be writing things all the time. People never believed about me, if they found out things, about where I came from, how I was nothing, just hanging, no one ever knew what to make of me. It would happen often  -  and in fact it still does often enough  - that for some reason people would always be giving me things. I guess I always looked needy or sad, whatever  -  all that still happens. I guess now I look needy and sad, and old too. One guy wanted to give me a walker and a cane, just the other day. OK, no, not really. But, I was always getting something, small bits of money too. It was like being a beggar without having to be one, nor needing to concoct a cover story either. It's also funny, comparing then to now  -  in 1968 no one ever offered water, mainly because people didn't drink it like they do now  -  all thos...

RUDIMENTS, pt. 571 (Is it worth taking a stand?) I probably really wouldn't know. The thing about childhood is that you don't understand how strange it is until you look back as an adult. While you're inside it, it's all that you know. And then, as things transform and you're no longer there, it too fades, generally, but never goes away, and like some small craft hugging the coastline, it stays there and you keep seeing the flashing light that you've almost forgotten but cannot. That's when things get maddening and you almost want to forget but won't. You remember something, anything  -  an old house or a place or a porch light or the same old shadow you'd gotten used to seeing, or the way someone talked, and that guy with the old, green car or the car crash you saw happen once right there, on that corner. Yep, you're strapped and you're trapped and you're rapt. Whole lotta' ...

RUDIMENTS, pt. 570 (eat this, before it melts) Before I die I intend to write a book entitled 'Living.' It's to be a book all about conceits, what are called 'conceits,' as in, 'You don't mean that, you're just doing that to look good....' Or 'to look like....' However you'd wish to have it phrased. My opinion is that the majority of things people do are done for reasons like that. Lacking the foundational block of 'authenticity,' let's say. Any reasoning for this, I would imagine, is based on poor upbringing (on my part); for the way I am viewing the world here reeks of that disdainful 1950's poor-boy-in front-of-the-TV outlook that, back in my day, was considered all perfectly correct and a right upbringing. No one owns up to that now. Gunsmoke and James Arness are what gave us Bob Dillon; certainly not 'Dylan' Thomas. Zimmy's always been a liar. - ...